Tip 1. Observe versus Absorb negative emotions and thoughts.
This is a valuable tip when dealing with conflict and negative behaviour from others. Managing not only our reactions but also the emotional impact others’ behaviour can have on us can be tricky. When we absorb others’ emotions, we lose our sense of emotional autonomy, and this can lead to stress and feelings of helplessness.
Here are three suggestions to develop confidence in observing rather than absorbing negative emotions and thoughts.
1. Recognize the Emotional Distinction
- Self-reflection: Start by acknowledging that there is a clear boundary between your emotions and someone else’s. Other people’s anger, frustration, or sadness are their emotions, not yours. Practice identifying when you’re starting to absorb these feelings. You can say to yourself, “This is not my emotion to carry.”
- Action step: Take a moment to check in with yourself, especially in emotionally charged situations. Ask, “What am I feeling right now, and where is it coming from?” This simple awareness can help you differentiate your feelings from others’ emotions.
2. Separate Empathy from Absorption
- Self-reflection: Empathy is about understanding others’ feelings, but it doesn’t require you to take on those feelings as your own. You can be compassionate without losing your emotional stability. Empathy means connecting to someone’s experience without becoming overwhelmed by it.
- Action step: Practice acknowledging someone else’s feelings while keeping your own emotional space intact. For example, you might say, “I can see you’re upset, and that must be hard for you,” without allowing their upset to affect your own emotional state.
3. Empower Your Own Emotional Boundaries
- Self-reflection: Consider the importance of your emotional boundaries. Think about how your emotional responses can influence the outcome of a situation. If you react impulsively out of anxiety or frustration, you’re not only affecting your own well-being, but you might also escalate the situation. On the other hand, maintaining your emotional balance can have a calming effect and may even help the other person regulate their emotions.
- Action step: In situations where you feel yourself being pulled into another person’s emotional turmoil, take a step back. Physically or mentally create space—breathe, pause, and remind yourself that you have control over how you respond. You can observe and acknowledge the emotions of others, but you don’t need to internalize them.
By becoming more aware of how you respond to conflict and negative emotions, you can preserve your own emotional health and support others in a more balanced and constructive way.
If you would like to know more on this topic please do not hesitate to contact me using the information above.
Dr Sonia Cann-Milland
Renewed Beliefs Counselling
0412 140 099