Being in a stepfamily myself and listening to other recoupled parents a reoccurring theme became apparent. It was a question in reflection about the reality of combining two families as parents recouple. This topic is important and valuable to discuss before becoming a stepfamily. If your anything like me you realized this in hindsight. That is okay and it is not too late to begin this essential discussion no matter how long you and your partner have been together.

Parents recoupling need to ask very different questions to first time couples whom
have no children. An example of these issues is; parenting styles, family traditions, family values, role development, former partners that are the biological parents and character discussions to get to know each individual child from the biological parent’s perspective.

These discussions if not done with a shared respect for one another can plant the seeds of confusion, resentment and disconnection. If you stand to close to a mirror you miss all the background. This is the same in communication. Take the time to step back and take in the background story. Do this by listening and asking non-threating questions that explain the complexities in making the much-needed changes desired to have a supportive caring stepfamily environment.